Going Blind!

And Trusting Myself!

A Page of My Crazy!  

Today I did something that some might thing is just crazy!  I went into my observation blind!  Yes, that’s right!  So, here’s what I mean.

            Our district has changed over to the Danielson Model.  We have had very little training and very little time to figure anything out.  Our administrators are learning on the fly, just like us.  Just like us, there is no real time to become experts at it.  Just. Like. Us. I have always said I could never be an administrator, but in this time in education, that’s more than a fact then ever!  Some days, I question…well, I won’t go there!  I know you know what that question is!  On top of all this, we are also completing the “free” version of Danielson.  What that translates to is LONNNNNG.  Very, very LONNNNNNNNNNGGGGG!  Now, let’s back up to what I did for prep work!

Prep Work:  I am very lucky to have a very good friend who thinks like me, who brainstorms like me, and who will just, point blank, tell me what I wrote is crap or is great!  I am very thankful for this friend.  We survived National Boards together at my kitchen table, Saturday after Saturday, while my husband took care of the kids and allowed us to do our crazy work.  I honestly never thought we would be pulling this type of shift again-but it has come-thank you Danielson (sarcasm intended!) 

            Over the course of two Saturdays (thank you flu for making it two instead of three!) we meet at my friend’s house.  I have to say, I am so thankful for the view of horses and open fields to take my mind off the brain numbing effects of repeated questions worded another way.  We spent the first Saturday working through Domain 4.  It wasn’t too bad.  It felt similar to National Boards in many ways.  You learn the tricks and techniques to answer these questions by finding every tool possible to guide you.  We found a decent tool and are hoping for the best.  The second Saturday, we worked on Domain 1 and our lesson plans.  We conquered the plans first-no problem!  Then…oh the THEN!  Can I just tell you that Domain 1 is, well, Domain 1!  Hours later, we still are not sure exactly what is right and what is wrong! We tried our best and are hoping for the best! 

14 hours to be exact!  FOURTEEN HOURS!  The only way to emphasis this was by typing it out!  I have now heard everything from 6 to 21 HOURS of time!  Time is a precious commodity to a teacher today.  There are many things I could do for my family, for my students, or for my class in those 14 hours worth of time.  Have I learned from it-to be honest NO!   No, I haven’t learned from the written response.  I have not seen things differently or in an enlightened way.  That’s what National Boards did.  This was, well, 14 hours of MY time!  Time that is precious and could be used for more then this craziness!  (Please allow me the favor of this moment!  I don’t complain very often and this is my opportunity!)  So, here we go with Going Blind!

Going Blind:  We were told to go through and read Domain 2 and 3 and be sure to cover them as best we could.  I refused to do it.  I honestly did and here’s why-it’s the ONLY way I will get better!   Truth right there!  I could have taken time to go through them, change things in my room, fix things all pretty, plan according to the rubric, and go nuts in general!  But what would that teach me?  What would that show me about my teaching?  How can I get real feedback and improve?  So I went in BLIND!  I taught the way I would have taught this lesson if my administrators hadn’t been in there.  I did do some “extras”-I made my chart pretty, I had my post-its ready, I did some pre-finishing work, like getting my pretty Marzano rubric up instead of my chart paper one.  But I didn’t go crazy and make everything perfect, so I could learn! 

How I Plan to Learn this System! 

Now, I am also not one to sit back and let the good times roll.  What I did do is VIDEO TAPED my lesson!  Here is my “mad” idea.  I will now go and print off the rubrics and watch my video.  I will assess myself (just like we ask the kids to do).  I will find positives and negatives to my teaching and my classroom so that when I go into my post observation I am well aware of just what occurred and where growth can be made.  Most importantly, I WILL LEARN!  I will learn what I do successfully!  I will learn what I can work on!   I will learn what DOK Levels my lesson really hit!  IT WILL BE OF VALUE TO ME!  That’s what I want from this.  Deep down, my administrators are NOT who I am working for-it is my students.  If I don’t learn what I am doing well, what I can work on, and what I can increase or decrease, what does it matter!  In many ways, it is my protest to this whole crazy educational time we are in!  It is my rebel side poking out its head and saying, “I am worth more than this!”  Crazy, I know, but I want to LEARN over and over who I am as a teacher, who I should move forward to be, without the dog and pony show of meeting the expectations to score high and be great!  I want to be that teacher that doesn’t have to, that it just comes naturally as a part of who I am!  So, go blind everyone!  Do this thing to be the natural you! 

Good Luck! My post observation is next week-let’s see how I feel then! 

            

Friday Fun Again!

Yes, I'm taking the easy fun way out and doing a quick Five for Friday Post by Doodlebugs Teaching!  So, here we go!  

I was able to survive the week with a minimal voice!  This weather wiped my voice out!  The kids were really great and helped me throughout the last 3 days to be successful in communicating our needs!  Today one sweet girl said, "Mrs. Santello, you sound so much better!"  It lasted for most of the morning, and then I was back to a frog voice!

I know, what a horrible picture.  But it was the best I could do on the notice I had.  You see, I didn't have my long lens with me and they needed this picture-fast.  In that nest was a eaglet with what is called a scissor beak.  That means it would eventually die if left in the wild.  I was texted to go take this picture because it would determine if they would climb the tree or bring a bucket truck to save that baby eaglet.  She is now in the hands of a vet who has completed surgery and gives all hope that she will recover and live back in the wild as soon as she can.  That, my friends, makes this a great picture!

Have you seen this story?  This is a great story!  Now, I know many of you are saying, "WHHHHHHHAT!" but it is a great story!  My kids are totally into vultures now!  So, between #2 and #3, I bet you can guess what I like to do!  But, really, this is a beautifully written and INCREDIBLY illustrated story.  The colors are vibrant and extremely well done!  Now, about vultures-did you know that if it wasn't for them the human race would be riddled with diseases!  They are built to beat disease while cleaning up our world of carrion-the word I used with the kids!  We learned all kinds of interesting facts today and then went outside to look, because there is ALWAYS vultures flying around our playground (is that a sign!)   Of course, today-NOT ONE!  Right before we went in one finally showed up!  Needless to say, we will be looking for one again on Monday!

We've been working hard on our Love Monsters in a Jar for Valentine's Day!  Their stories are really cute and they are coming out great!  I will need to start them earlier next year, but it is still a lot of fun!  I have Love Bugs and Monsters in my class.  One is named Sugarcrumb Plum!  So cute!

It's a town!   Today my content teaching partner and I created this little beauty!  All of the children in both classes created a building for the town.  We created the layout.  Their faces were so great when we brought them up to see it after specials.  They were amazed.  What are we going to do with it you ask?  Create a map and map key.  They will zero in on their building and the two or three beside it.  They will draw this on their map and create a key.  Today we talked about birds-eye view.  They were the birds and they got to look down upon the map!  I will be adding the directional signals so they can correctly label their maps with a compass rose!  So excited to see how this goes!  I'll update you on it!  

So, that's my Friday Fun Again!  I think I should have titled it For the Birds!!!

Five For Friday Linky!

This week I'm trying out the Five For Friday Linky Party over at Doodle Bugs Teaching!  I'm feeling like I'm getting my groove back after I've shared my soul, so here we go!

So I figured I would start off with my saddest moment!  I had to say good-bye to one of my students this week.  His dad got an awesome job and they are moving away.  It just so happened that they took one last trip to the "Happiest Place on Earth" while they were in Florida.  It was the perfect opportunity to have my class make him cards for when he needs a friend.  It was wonderful to see kids work so hard for one of their friends.  It was the first time I've ever done this and I will do it again!  This is how it looked.

I'm super excited to be teaching my close read packet called What Do Birds Do When They Fly South? We started by using the Reciprocal Teaching at Work technique.  We predicted what we would find in the packet and shared our questions orally.  Then we became more focused on the first read-What is the South?  It was amazing to hear kids ask questions I asked myself while I was planning and writing!  We did our second one today on robins!  I've imported them into my Mimio software and add the pictures to the Mimio display!  It has been awesome!  

We also discussed the pace of each reading in a close read today. We discovered that the first read is a relaxing pace, working to enjoy and open our minds to the topic.  The second read is much slower, as we examine the reading for answers.  We have been reading the questions before we move into the second reading so we are more aware of what we are looking for.  Then we discussed how the last read is a little quicker, as we look to clarify our thinking.  It was a great discussion!

Some days you just hit the mother load!  Today was that day in Book Fair form!  Our media specialist set up the book fair and had teacher preview day!  I found a number of books that will be a MUST!  I am most excited about....

LOVE MONSTER!  

This will go perfectly with my next writing, Monsters and Love Bugs in a Jar!   How great is that!  Now it will flow amazingly!  The other books are great for read alouds during Morning Meeting!  Mama Built a Little Nest was a beautiful read!  It had many nests in the story and some of them match birds that are in my close reads!  I also know that my kids will eat up The World of Birds!  We are the first class at recess and there are many days that we get to spot the amazing bird life on our campus!  They will want to bring it to recess!  I'll be right there with them!!

Today I had the funniest moment with my husband!  My oldest son was sick today. So I decided to explain to my husband that many years ago, when I had to stay home with my kids when they were sick, it would frustrate me to no end! He got to go to work! I had to write plans, I had to figure out how to get them to the school or go in, and I had to think all day long about the fact that a sub was in my room and what in the world was going on!  Well, now my husband works from home!  Easy, right!  He stays home, I go to work!  Sick child stays with him.  That's just it-I was frustrated this morning that I couldn't stay home!  I can't even justify that my child needs me enough for me to stay!  He's a teenager and we had the meds he needed right there, at home!  It was a eye opening moment!  I needed to value those days because they are gone!

I am super excited!  I've had the best TPT month ever!  It is such a great feeling!  I am also very thankful to everyone who made purchases from my store!  I've been really thinking about what to do with my earnings, as this was just an opportunity to earn a little extra!  With a lot of prayer and consideration, I will be using a large portion of my sales to save up for a missions trip with my church!  This will be a two ticket purchase, as I will be bringing my teen age son with me!  I'm not sure where we will go yet, but God knows!  There are a few possibilities and more will open as I save!  I am so blessed that this can happen with the earnings I will make this year on TPT! Thanks to everyone again!

So, that's it!  My Five for Friday!  What was your top five this week!  Leave me a comment to let me know!

Going Where No Teacher Wants to Go!

Disclaimer:  This in no way reflects upon my beliefs about my school or the district I work in.  I know that our administrators at the school and district level are feeling all of this in similar ways. I'm sure that if they could, they would agree with many of these points and more!  This post is aimed at my feelings about the current government system that is in place across America that is dictating things from afar and doesn't understand the classroom setting at all!  All links connected to this post support points through other's stories and research.  Be sure to read through some of those links as well.

Photo from "Make A Wish" bulletin board at my school.  

It was written by a student.  Everything speaks!

       As I sit and face another year of blogging and working, I find myself stifled for topics.   This is not because I don’t have them; it is because they are blocked. Yes, I tell you-blocked-from my true desire to write, explain, and enjoy.  What is blocking them you may wonder? Writer’s block you may think!  No, it’s the realization of where this career as a teacher is going!  The realization of where our students are going.  The realization that there is no end, but the end, may be coming!  So, I’ve decided to take a stab at it, to expose the deeper frustrations that are robbing my thoughts and fingers of other things, of helpful things, to further the good things still left!  Here’s what I’ve go!

The Two Kinds of Crying

        I have spent more time crying over my job in the last two years than I have in the entire 21 years prior to this combined!  I’ve cried before-over kids, over decisions I couldn’t control, over saying goodbye and job changes, but NEVER like this before.   A good cry can do a lot to get someone over something, but these are not good tears.  As more and more pressures and bad decisions are passed down from the government to teachers, to children, the tears are different.  It is a deep, soul problem.  So deep that one doesn’t want to go there or they may never come back.  It is a mourning of our teaching souls, knowing that there is nothing that we can ultimately do to change what is occurring, but with a prayer and a hope that someone, anyone will step in to stop this madness!  We can see the damage being done to both students, but, more importantly, the children involved in this madness!  There is a difference in those two!  The worst part of this is that the madness comes from industry-an industry that is exploiting children in the same manner that many of the human trafficking industries are doing-for MONEY!  They don’t care what they are doing to them mentally!  Their pockets are filling, they are making changes on a constant basis to refresh that cash flow, they are winning!  Winning in the same way that other children are being exploited across the world, only more “safely”, more hidden in the corners where parents can’t see or don’t want to see!  Isn’t this exactly what happens in the rest of the world but only with far more serious results to the lives of children?  I know there is a difference; I know that human trafficking is far more serious-but why does my teaching heart mourn for my students in the same way!  Why does this violation of their learning lives hurt in the same manner?  Something that cannot be undone or fixed.  We are loosing a generation of learners right now to an industry that is bent on one thing-profiting from their loss!

         How do I know-tears!  Yes, this time it is from my students.  These tears are from students who are babies and should be learning to love reading for the joy of reading.  Instead, there are tears.  According to the standards, students MUST respond to their reading in deep ways and in complete sentences (usually with the restated question) in FIRST GRADE!  “What, you don’t know what it means?  You don’t know what is being asked?  Sorry for you!  YOU ARE UNDERPERFORMING!”  WHAT!!  What about learning to read, what about learning basic comprehension, what about the joy….instead, tears!  I haven’t had a week yet that there were not tears about work that we have to do!  Without going into detail, my school is full of students who “CAN”!  There is lots of documented evidence through state testing and more to prove that!  But our kids CAN’T!  They are struggling and trying their very bests-which brings tears!  Heart wrenching, “I’m a looser” tears!  Why, oh why, is this right!  These children are not losers, they are smart and witty and fun and loving and caring and thoughtful…yet the work is speaking to them more than anyone of us can!  And so there are tears, with words such as, “Why do we have to do this?”, “It is too hard" (something that I would never accept in the past-but now, it’s truth!), “This isn’t something I’ve learned!" (Which is true on testing pieces that are based on “their” learning ability, yet ask a 5^th or 6^th grade level question as the SECOND question in their assessment!), and “I’ve tried my best, I can’t answer it!”  These are all things I’ve heard out of students’ mouths.  The worst thing is, I’d never accepted any of these in the past.  But, we have reached the ridiculous!  Now I have to hug them, encourage them, support them, and know that I am also, in a way, lying to them.  I can’t keep them from tears and I can’t protect them anymore from what is beyond their reach.  It has come and it is inappropriate.  So there are lots of tears, over and over and over…

Lack of Parent Support

            Then there are the parents!  Oh, the parents you say, they don’t do anything, they can’t help, they allow their children to do anything they want, they don’t help! Well, this isn’t true at my school!  So, let’s go there!  I have parent volunteers that come in and help with students reading-the foundations, just read to me!  I am so blessed to have them and would never give them up!   But here is what happens over and over again, “I’m an engineer, and I don’t get this math!”  “What in the world are they trying to teach?” “I spent two hours on -line trying to figure this out and I have no clue!”, and “I used to teach but I don’t know where to go with this or even what the right answer is!”  We are not talking about common folk! We are talking about college educated, extremely intelligent people!  THEY CAN’T HELP THEIR CHILDREN LEARN!  That is a real dilemma!  Talk about robbing a generation! I can’t even blame them when they hand me the paper and say they just couldn’t do it!  I’m as frustrated as they are!  I know the basic principal behind the idea, but I’ve read research too!  When a professor says it’s a good “idea’ but there is no way kids are developmentally ready for this form of algebraic expression in elementary school, don’t you think we should listen!  Don’t you think we should pay attention to the EXPERTS and RESEARCH! 

Impossible Goals Set by Impossible People

            And that statement leads to the heading above!  Who in the world decided that high-stakes testing should determine what the Common Core looks like?  Because, here’s the deal!  At the basic level, there are a lot of good Common Core Standards.  But they are being destroyed by the companies like Pearson and the consortiums like PARCC, AIR and SMARTT that are creating the guiding tests that determine the level of instruction that is expected.  I’ve taught a long time and I’ve seen a gradual shift to harder and harder work being passed down from one grade to another!  For instance, when I first started teaching, basic multiplication was in third grade. Master it, introduce basic division, and an introduction of 2 by one digit multiplication with basic mastery.  Today, basic multiplication is an expected EXIT SKILL of 2^nd grade!  They have to have their facts mastered and understand how multiplication works before they leave 2^nd grade!  That is just one example of how bringing it down works.  But this is an attainable example.  Now let’s talk about how kids need to know the CENTRAL MESSAGE in first grade.  This amounts to THEME!  Why not call it what it is!  It is not the main idea (they built a garden together) it is the theme (they shared-the idea, the work, the product) in first grade. Think that through people-they are 6!!!!  This is an example of what I mean about sneaking things in that are harmful-give it a different name, cover it in a pretty wrapper, but you better know it.  After all, you are SIX YEARS OLD!  These “people” don’t know what they are doing, nor do they care!  That is the real problem! They are lawmakers (Jeb Bush included) who have never stepped a foot into a classroom.  They are business leaders, like Bill Gates, who think that schools are a business!  They think competition is the answer for teachers!  It is NOT the answer!  It is what is messing up kids of all ages!  I’ve heard stories from every age group!  This is not a business!  We are talking about flesh and blood!  Brains that are forming!  The latest research shows that we are harming kids brain development when we force kindergarteners to read!  And these people, legislators and business men, are supporting this!

Lack-o-Fun for ALL!

            This mess has lead to a lack of fun.  Yes, I know, what job is fun!  Well, when you used to love what you did and had fun doing it, it made it worth it.  Trust me, we aren’t doing this for the money, or the “accolades”!  We are doing it because it is our passion, our calling, and our fun!  We like to laugh with our students.  We like to explore and learn with them.  We discover things every day we don’t know because of our students.  We like challenges that are creative and interesting and, well, challenging!  We like to set goals and attain those goals.  We live for this stuff.  Well, the stuff isn’t what it was, it isn’t, well, fun!  The challenges now are because a child isn’t attaining mastery at 80%.  In other words, C students are now “in danger”.  In danger of what!  I know plenty of professionals with huge degrees that will tell you they were C students!  Why!  Lots of reasons!  I know plenty of adults that were A students who have done NOTHING with their lives!  It amounts to NOTHING in the end!  But to sit there and say a C is now a kid in danger!! Who thinks this stuff up!  If I weren’t living it, I wouldn’t believe it!  So this goes right back to my previous point-who is the creator of this impossible?  Who thought this 80% rule up!  It is in plenty of professional teaching texts and I am NOT a fan.  I shouldn’t be sweating and having heart palpitations because a student got a 70% on a Unit Assessment that is totally out of the reality of a first grader!  And I am not alone!  I know a teacher/parent who is having the same concern!  So, needless to say, the fun is gone!  The glow is gone!  The pressure and the out of hand expectations are killing this job and it will, mark my words, do the total opposite than the expected-NO ONE will want to teach, anywhere! 

Crushed Creativity-FOR REAL!

             So where does that leave creativity.  Isn’t that the goal of our government?  Create independent thinkers that will bring creativity back to the American people.  Well, I see this time in education as a creativity killer.  Since when, in first grade, is the use of crayons and coloring against the curriculum?  Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t my school or district.  I do, however, know a teacher who has been told this very thing by a district level worker.  They were told to put those crayons away!  No where in the first grade curriculum does it say they can color!  REALLY!  The thing is, if it is happening there, it will slowly trickle all the way through the entire state!  Then, to the national level!  Put those crayons away!  Paint, oh NO YOU DON’T!  Create-where, where in the curriculum is that???  Why, because they need to attain that 80% success rate to be anything in life!  Or worse, because your VAM counts on it!  So, kiss creativity away!  It is a lie being told to society today!  You can still spot it here or there, but it will soon dwindle away into a thing of the past-no more construction paper, crayons, or paint-you have work to do!

Can I Just Go On! 

            Oh, and then there is VAM!  Oh yes, the Value Added Model.  The thing that will spur every teacher to the highest pay level and eliminate the bad eggs!  Well, all it has done is put undo stress upon all teachers.  We spend hour upon hour interpreting data that no one really understands, showing us that our students are low, asking us that unanswerable question of “how are you going to fix this”, followed by form after form to fill out telling how to “fix it” with NO supplies or materials to do so!  Isn’t this just so much FUN!  I can’t even get my grading done half the time because some paper or another is needing to be filled out, or run to this meeting on this topic, or go to this “optional” meeting on your planning time when you are supposed to be doing you real work!  (And by optional it means you better go or you won’t be able to understand any of the data that you are given!)  All of this so our VAM doesn’t suffer!  Our VAMS are suffering!  Our “Value All Marvelous Students!”  We can no longer just look at them as the ones we want to move along on this journey of life by giving them the foundation they need.  Now we have to look at them as a growth number!  Worry enters in and our thinking changes to “How am I going to get that child to do what they need to do on that assessment that is coming?”  This isn’t the education we want our students to face.  This isn’t the job we want to be doing!  This is NOT what we are made of!  This is a business decision!!!  This is…

            I don’t even know where to go next.  Time will only tell.  Choices will have to be made.  As more and more parents join our camp, we hope for change.  We hope for a return to sanity, to educating children to where success can be attained, students can feel positive again, creativity and fun can return to the classroom.  A time where real reigns again-real standards, real learning, real community.  We can all help.  One way is to write your legislators.  Call on them for a return to sanity!  Our children are worth it!  Their hearts and minds are worth it.  Join groups that are organizing movements against this trend!   They are working to save kids and teachers!  Speak out to local school boards and administration at the highest level.  They have to listen!  They have to act if enough people join together!  It is time to save this education system!  It is the time to save our students, our children! 

I know that this is a hot topic.  Please remember that appropriate comments are important.  Also, if you know an article that would be a great link up addition to my post, please share.  I will add it to the document.